Check your commitments before saying yes

Before you accept another responsibility, take ten minutes to write down what you already carry. Seeing it on one page makes the decision clearer and fairer, both for you and for the person asking. You do not need a score or a test, only an honest list.

A request can be welcome and still not fit right now. Reviewing first helps you tell which it is.

Why review before saying yes?

Because a quick yes uses hours you may not have. New tasks arrive one at a time, so the total stays hidden until the week is already full.

The UK National Health Service (NHS) suggests managing stress by talking to someone, breaking large tasks into smaller steps and planning ahead¹. A short review is a form of planning ahead. It lets you see the load before you add to it.

What should go on the list?

Include everything that uses your time or energy each week, paid or unpaid.

Common groups to cover:

• Work tasks and regular meetings.
• Household jobs, school runs and caring for family.
• Community roles at the mosque, temple, church or residents’ association.
• Study, such as a part-time diploma or helping a child prepare for SPM.
• Rest and sleep, which count as commitments too.

Next to each item, write a rough time per week. Rough is fine. You are looking for the overall shape, not exact minutes.

Try this: a ten-minute commitment review

Find a quiet spot, perhaps with your morning kopi before the house wakes up.

1. Write every current commitment on one page.
2. Add a rough weekly time to each.
3. Circle the ones that end soon, such as a project due this month.
4. Write the new request at the bottom with its likely time.
5. Ask yourself: if I add this, what will get less of my time?
6. Choose your answer from the options below.

If the answer to step five is “sleep” or “my family”, that is worth noticing.

What can I say besides yes or no?

There are middle answers that are honest and kind.

• “Yes, if.” “Yes, if the report deadline moves to next month.”
• “Not now, but later.” “I can take this on after the school holidays.”
• “Part of it.” “I can do the planning, but not the weekly follow-ups.”

Each one keeps the relationship warm while protecting the time you already promised elsewhere. For a full refusal, a plain “I cannot take this on properly right now” is enough.

How do I adapt it to real life?

Shift work. Count commitments per roster cycle instead of per week, since your days off move.

Small business owners. Include admin time, such as replying to customers on WhatsApp. It is easy to forget.

Festive season. Add open house hosting or travel for balik kampung as real items on the list.

If your review shows a season of extra work, read about how to tell a busy season from a routine that is too much. If the list is already longer than your week, the guide on noticing when your plan is too full goes further.

Next step

Your list can also help when you need to ask others for help. The guide on making a capacity list for a support conversation shows how to turn it into a clear request. Our easing everyday stress guides have more guides on workload and home life.

The weekly reflection sheet is a simple place to repeat this review each week. Before you send your answer, you might take a quiet pause with Sadhguru’s free 7-minute guided meditation in the Miracle of Mind app, which is entirely optional.