Which relative can really do this task?

Before you name a relative for a task, check four things: time, place, transport and permission. If all four are a yes, assign it. If not, find a second option early.

This keeps good intentions from becoming a last-minute scramble. It also protects the relative who always says yes.

Why does “I can help” not always mean “I can do this”?

Most relatives mean it kindly. But work hours, school runs, distance and cost are real limits that nobody likes to mention.

A clear question gives them permission to be honest. That is kinder to them and safer for the person being cared for.

What are the four checks?

Go through them in order, for each task.

• Time: are they free at that exact hour, including travel?
• Place: can they get to the right place, and do they know where it is?
• Transport and cost: do they have a car, a ride or fare money?
• Permission: will the place accept them acting for the family?

Write each answer next to the task. A blank means the plan is not ready yet.

Try this: a five-minute task check

Pick the next task on your handover list.

1. Write the task, the date and the place.
2. Ask the likely relative the four questions, one at a time.
3. If any answer is no, ask who else lives closer or has more time.
4. Name a back-up person, even if the first plan looks solid.
5. Message the group with the name, the day and the back-up.

How do I confirm local arrangements?

Do not assume the rules you know from one place apply in another. Call or message the clinic, office or service and ask in plain words.

• “What does a family member need to bring?”
• “Can they come without the patient present?”
• “Is there a form or letter we should prepare?”

Note the date and the name of the person you spoke to. If language is a barrier, see our guide on preparing language access questions before contacting a care resource.

What if nobody nearby can do it?

Say that to the whole family. Then look at what a relative far away can do by phone or online, and what needs outside help.

Our guide on finding suitable support when a resource is not enough can help you think through next steps. The support page lists places to start.

Where to go next

If you are building the full plan, start with creating a practical care handover when relatives live in different countries. To keep health decisions separate, read separating a family task list from medical instructions.

Everything is collected on our parenting and caring for family guides. If a practice ever brings up distress or dizziness, it is fine to stop.

Once the plan is confirmed, Sadhguru’s free 7-minute guided meditation in the Miracle of Mind app is there as an optional pause.